I have spent so many years obssessive about my energy field, transcending karma and having my DNA activated and focused on ascension in consciousness.  Emphatic that I was not reincarnating that this incarnation was it for me.  I had bought into the drama of the earth, the fallens and the agendas of various kinds going on behind the scenes while TRYING to cancell clear it from my mind and live a disciplined life free from judgment, being more accepting, trusting and open. 

I soaked up what ever energy training was being offered from my then human teacher and bought into the message spread forth about how important it is for indigos to wake up and so on.  There were times over the years that I would scream at the universe, my golden self, and the masters as well as the ONE in deep frustration and sorrow.  I even seriously planned on leaving this earth ahead of my time due to the stress of it all because I believed I was not accelerating fast enough, that I was not good enough and when I came up with ideas for training or sessions, someone else was already doing it.  I desired to be the very best and offer something that was different and unique than anyone else on the planet in a sincere effort to be of service. 

Then came the battle with the transcending of the ego and the conflicting stories surrounding this topic.  Some were yes, transcend and others would be like who cares it is you and get over it!  So confusing, frustrating and maddening was the various versions of stories.  They were similiar in content but using diffferent words, concepts or even codes to help during this transcendental time.  Through all the activations, clearings, reading and practice I knew the answer was so close that I could taste it.  It seemed like the answer was always just out of reach and at this time I had gone through so much drama, that I had learned to shrug this off.  I cared deep inside and it hurt to take an active caring on the outside.  I had learned not to hang on words and view points of others around me.  When clients would send so called messages from my team, I blew that off too as many times the messages were way off and were really from the clients personality. This was a blessing too because I no longer hung on the words of the ascended ones.  I had tried in the past to renounce their existence however, I knew that was not true and they were pretty clear about making sure I knew it too!

As of a week ago, I got very clear for the first time since I woke up in 2003 to this path.  I was introduced to my ascended mentor and through a rather interesting dialogue that included me mostly blowing off the conversation, I got the AHAA of the missing piece of truth for me.

"You are here to Be Joy"  "You cannot ascend to other experiences until joy is experienced on the earth plane."

This hit me like a ton of bricks and the lights and waves of understanding just kept washing over me and the dialogue continued with confirmation of what was coming to me.  It was beautiful that EVERYTHING I had experienced up to that point had helped me to better understand and grasp what these great beautiful beings of consciousness had awakened in what was already in me.  So the years of teaching and practicing acceptance, willingness, awareness, unpeturbedness, and non judgment were all required to practice joy and it was not about the drama and the stories I was so willing to accept prior to this point.  Then came the last wave of awakening that set me off in hesterics because of the paradoxical nature of the universe.

Joy is not about doing or NOT doing just for the sake of doing. 

For example, if someone's mother was obssessive about cleaning and they grew up making the decision of not being like their mother, resulting in a living environment being a mess, unorganized and dirty.  The stress that ensues from this is not joy. 

So avoidance is not the path to joy. 

Eating a hamburger out of habit and just scoffing it down is not joy.  However eating the hamburger  and savoring each bite, observing how the mouth explodes in salvitation and the flavors come alive from the tongue.  Chewing the food completely and then swallowing and noticing the chewed substance go to the stomach.  Noticing how the body sucks the energy from the hamburger.  Feeling the serge of energy in the cells just from this one bite.  How exciting what will happen with the next bite?  This is joy. 

Awareness of what is aware is joy.

So 2012 for me is about embodying and living my joy with integrity and mastery that is free from self judgement, filled with acceptance, awareness, and willingness.  Many of these concepts I am playing with and will be sharing my experiences here in the months to come.  A few years ago when I was engaged in a clear the slate program with my then human teacher, Babaji came through and said that joy is required to ascend.  Without joy there is no ascension.  That message, at the time, was frustrating to me even though I was grateful for the communication.  This experience came back as a memory recall three days after my enlightenment  as a form of confirmation.  My life has already shifted with this awareness and I am so grateful.

Toward the end of my conversation with my ascended mentor, I asked her how I could bring this information forth to humanity and she laughed and said

"This will never be accepted by humanity because it is too simple and will not be taken seriously."

Folks make no mistake, what I am sharing here is not a live your bliss lifestyle with your head up your butt!  Believe it or not there is a mastery involved with true joy which is why I was laughing when it hit me.  I will be sharing this with you here in these blogs as I experience them in my life, as they exists for me as concepts from years of reading and understanding, I am learning how to apply them now and I am already in mentor school!  They really do not waste time!  NOW is really as there is and there is no time like the PRESENT!

So I will leave you with a question.  If humanity is here to experience joy and joy must be experienced if humans are to move on to other life experiences,  how can you embody joy in your life NOW? 

Here is an exercise for you to easily practice to play with this.  At each meal, become fully aware of yourself eating the food on your plate.  Be aware of your surroundings, the temperature, the smells, notice yourself cutting your food, notice what it feels like to bring the fork to your mouth, then experience the first sensations of when you place the food in your mouth.  Is the food sweet, bitter, hot, cold, warm, does your mouth explode in sensations and if so notice what they are.  Chew your food slowly, thoughtfully, and at least 20 times before swallowing. This is a very beautiful experience and is quite joyful even blissful.  Do this for a couple of weeks with different foods and notice what your really enjoy and what you do not. 

We will meet back here in the blog and share experiences with each other in the joy of the moment!  May the sweetness of life exastically bless you with abundant joy of each moment of your 2012 experience!