I went on a beautiful hike beyond my house near Airport Mesa.  I went on the full Ridge Trail and saw some of the most incredible views.  Some of the most spectacular scenes are the full view of Thunder Moutain and Coffee Pot Rock, Pyramid Mountain and a great vista of Cathedral Rock, Bell Rock and Courthouse.   For the first time, I could see how the major rock momuments actually do form a kind of a circle around Sedona.  I could see what Nicholas Mann has shown with Geomancy,  in which many of these rock formations form a perfect pentagram and hexagram within the Sedona Landscape.  This is one hike, which shows you practically a 360 degree view of many of the major Sedona landmarks as you hike the full trail.  I received a much better perspective of Sedona and beyond.

Another think Nicholas Mann pointed out is that in the legends of Sedona, it is said that the central spires of Cathedral Rock, there is a man and a woman standing back to back.  This embodies eternal values of humanity: the balancing of mail and female, the harmonizing of relationships upon the earth and the essential interdependence of all peoples.

In the legend, there is a man and a woman who just could never get along and always criticized, disagreed and fought with each other.  Nothing was ever perfect enough or good enough.

One day they were walking by Oak Creek when they disturbed and awoke the great serpent whiclay sleeping in the creek bed and he asked what all the commotion was about.  Overcoming their astonishment, the man and woman pointed at each other and both started to talk at once, but the old serpent silenced them by saying:

"When two beings come together they do so in deep respect for each other, whether they are animal or of humankind.  They recognize their dependence upon each other and honor the value of what the other is and does.  They also recognize their independence from each other.  They understand that they walk their own path and look their own way.  For this reason I shall carve a stone where you the man, and you the woman, stand back to back to show your connectedness and dependence upon each other and also your independence, your looking your own way.  I shall set this stone in a high place of great beauty and sacredness so you shall remember these things forever."

The man and woman were astonished as the great serpent slid back into the river bed.  They looked up and saw carved in the stones of Cathedral Rock, high above them, the shape of a man and a woman like themselves, standing back to back just as the serprent had said.  From that day on they learned to respect each other, and though they sometimes had their different opinions, they understood that they each walked their own path and no longer criticized and tried to change the other.

Seeing this sculpture in Cathedral Rock, especially the perfect direct high view while on this hike, I could sense the awe and truth of what this represents.  This is something which my wife and I have been struggling with through the years.  I am sure many other people as well have had similar experiences.  The balance of being dependent and also independent with each other and even within our own selves.  Just this simple story has solidified this for me.

Both Savitri and I have at times struggled with the opinions the other has.  Sometimes opinions can be seen as judgements by the other person, and an automatic reaction can occur where the recipient tries to squash this other person's opinion.  Yet I can now see how this is in a sense just taking something from one extreme to the other, from far left to far right, a polarity.  This is also a great example of how our energetic imprints stored in our field can activate and disrupt our relationships!

From so much experience with this, I can tell you it does not work.  It is very dualistic, black and white, hot or cold, good or bad.  You never can find the middle ground or balance anything in this way.  It is only a losing ping pong game of the old reductionistic way of living.  It takes not just being in your head, but opening your heart to what is in you as well as to what is outside of you.  To embrace other ways of looking at things, where you can resonate with others and begin to understand them through compassion and empathy.  Now you can find the middle ground between the two extremes.  This is so because you have experienced both sides, that you understand from your experience, to allow the space of compassion to go into that middle ground.

I realize that I can never change another person.  I know I have tried very diligently and frustratingly.  Through this I realized that the only thing I can change is my perception of a person or something which has happened to me.  The miraculous thing is that when I change my perception, it does appear to actually change the situation more times than not.  Maybe it is just that I am not investing so much time in negativity and pointing fingers and saying you are wrong and I am right.  The only thing that is "wrong" is my perception of someone or something.  When that changes, everything else just drops away and I feel peace in that situation and moment.

I have come up with a way to get at the "Heart" of a situation and just allow it to be as it is.  I have the acronym of Heart as follows:

Honoring
Empathy
Acceptance
Respect
Tolerance
Support

These are explained as follows:

• Honoring the other person for what they believe gives that person the freedom to express themselves in a full and truthful way.  It does not mean you have to hold the same belief, yet it just means that you can see that we all have different and equally beautiful ways to see the same things.  We all have a personal truth made up of our beliefs and thougths.  Only Universal Laws can and are absolute.  We live in a relative world, not an absolute one.
• Empathy is a way to feel for the other person because we have been through similar experiences.  Compassion also comes into play here.  Empathy is intuitive and feeling whereas Compassion is a logical reasoning and understanding of a situation.  They really are flip sides of the same thing.  To have both is a marriage of the logical and feeling parts of ourselves, or emotional and mental aspects.  We may be where the other person is now, yet do not intend to change them because we know that we are all on our own learning path.  You can't force anyone to do anything until they are ready and make the decision to change and grow.
• Acceptance and openness is able to be accomplished with the first two qualities.  You are able to see the true beauty of that person and let it shine through fully.  No need for you to block or cover it up by making them conform to what you believe is best for them.  The truth is nobody really knows anybody else to the level which they know themselves.  It is impossible. So when you stop trying to do the impossible and change something you can't, then you actually have a tremendous peace and release.  You can find joy in just accepting and allowing everyone and everything to be as it is.  The only thing that can ever really be changed is yourself.  When you walk your talk, by changing yourself, people will automatically learn by your example and the world does change from that.  Just by you changing.  Acceptance gives freedom to you and others in that it is OK to truly just be yourself.
• Respect is then gained and able to be seen in others.  You accept and allow them to be as they are.  You may not hold any of the same beliefs, yet you can see how they came to their beliefs by the angle they see things.  You come to appreciate how everything has many angles.  With this open mind you can actually learn things from others and may actually see a better way of looking at things.  You are in a sense listening and allowing this new vision to be in your consciousness.
• These first four items actually spell  HEAR.   You can truly hear what that person has been saying because you have been listening by using these steps.
• Tolerance is now gained by following this processes.  Any person or situation can be tolerated by truly seeing, listening and hence better understanding who they are and how they think.
• Support is the ultimate outcome of all this.  It takes at least two people to have support.  One person can be supportive of the other now that they have embodied these qualities.  This is what life and love is about, I believe.  To help support one another and to follow through on their path.  We also can do things to help support our selves.  Yet it makes things so much easier to have others support you and to have things around you for support.  The ultimate goal from all this is to support and believe in your self.  Marriage or Relationships are the best means and grounds to help each one of us to learn this.  It may not always be easy, yet having two "HEARTS" on the same vision helps get you there!!!